I remember playing Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards when I was 12 years old. I noticed then what you have probably noticed (far) more recently:
Girls behave differently in real life than they do in video games.
And while they are plenty of people out there who want to teach you tricks and gimmicks to attract women and relate with them, you know deep down that those are just tricks. Gimmicks might "get the girl", but they will not keep her attention, and they certainly will not lead to the kind of depth and intimacy - connection - that you crave. And while they may work in the short-term on a girl, they rarely if ever work at all on a real woman.
And while it's true: clothes don't make the man (fortunately for most of you). However, clothes DO make the first impression - unfortunately for most of you.
When I was leading a course once, a participant asked me who my stylist was ... I admit for someone who never takes anything personally, I almost did ... and recovered just barely (after a brief scoff) to thank her for the compliment. But the reality is, I have been honing my aesthetic for decades through trial and error.
It's not hard to put together a no-nonsense wardrobe that impresses in the office and attracts women. Being well put together is one of those things (like tying your shoes) that if it is done right, people simply trust you know what you are doing. It's like background reassurance of your competence and should not be overlooked: they notice without knowing it in the first few seconds of meeting you.
It's as important as the capacity for deep presence. Yes. Really.
But what is presence?
True presence radiates from you being your authentic self-free from the internal conflicts of self-doubt. From a lack of fear
How many times have you thought about approaching *that woman* - you know the one - and you talked yourself out of it. You rejected yourself before she even had the chance. But let's say you get out of your own way and actually work up the nerve to approach her. What then? What will attract her to you? Hint: isn't you nervously talking about yourself and trying to "impress her".
There are a dozen things we could talk about - from how to have a great first date to how to responsibly set expectations and create clear agreements to how to handle upsets - and a half-dozen sub-skills for each of those, but at its base, all it takes is 3 things to attract and keep her interested and engaged:
Focus - have your attention on her. Be curious. Know what questions to ask that create connection, reveal depth, create intimacy, and avoid wasting time with someone who you have great chemistry with, but is not a good fit in other areas. Wisdom, rather than chance.
Awareness - her body is a feedback-driven system and she is giving you feedback all the time. Yes, knowledge of anatomy is important and helpful, but every woman has her own preferences. Awareness solves the problem of the thought error that you are supposed to know what she likes from moment 1 - at first touch.
You won't. You can't. But you will learn.
And finally, Purpose - be up to something. A purpose larger than yourself, an inspiring mission, trying to change the world through your work and/or action.
But before we get ahead of ourselves, let's work on your ability to make that first impression, and then your ability to connect and be curious - honing your connection and communication skills.
In this event, you'll learn a bit of both, and leave with insight, secrets, and an action plan for how to be more effective with that woman in real life.
Join Jason McClain, The Evolutionary Geek® and Deseere' Cruz, Desire Coach and Image Consultant, as they bring you a new world to explore and new ways to be yourself, yet leave your mark.
|Time||Thursday, May 25th @ 4:30m
||Geekdom 110 E Houston Street San Antonio TX
Deseere' Cruz, Desire Coach and Image Consultant
Born and raised in the Pacific Northwest, Deseere' is a mom of two boys, a self proclaimed novelty foodie, amateur acroyogi and currently residing in the San Antonio, TX area. Five years ago she took her more than 15 years experience as an international business consultant and fashion expert and created a platform to personally work with people seeking transformation in their lives. Her philosophy of "head to toe, skin to coat" insures lasting and notable change in her clients personal and professional lives. As a Desire Coach and Image Consultant she is dedicated to guiding individuals to find their true self and present it in a package for success and fulfillment.