Relationship Round-up | The Myths, The Problems, & The Solutions

Relationship Round-up | The Myths, The Problems, & The Solutions

Over the years, I have written a piece or two [or 3] on relationships and communication. From many perspectives and assessing many forms of relating. Given how often I have had the opportunity to send some of these articles to clients lately, I figured that a round-up of the most salient entries was in order.

The four I recommend as "covering the bases" are below. I list them in order of expansiveness:

Are you in a relationship? Or in a habit? How would you know? I take on this question in the following article:

Living Consciously: Fulfilling Relationships, Values, Forms

In the next two-part article, we address the problems as well as the solutions to many [if not most] inter-personally conflicts. Both the mindsets as well as practical solutions.

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Social Media and You | In-Depth Analysis and Recommendations

Social Media and You | In-Depth Analysis and Recommendations

 

In the modern marketplace, if you are in business for yourself or at a high level within a company you work for, it is impossible to avoid social media and its use if you truly want to thrive. That combined with what I believe is an emerging Age of Authenticity ... well, you get the picture.

Just scratching the surface of the broad strokes, it allows you to:

Provide value to othersManage your brandMarket inexpensively and freelyShow your human sideStay connected to others, events, and your own reputationOther fun and cool stuff

 

This is why I cover social media in depth in the technology module of the Evolutionary Sales course.

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Relationships: Elegant Navigation, Effective Communication Part 1

Relationships: Elegant Navigation, Effective Communication Part 1

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 1: The Problem (1346 words. Average reading time: 6 minutes)

In the global marketplace of cultures, ideas, relationships, and business strategies, we can no longer say that there is one way to “do relationships” or that there is an “is-ness” to what form they should take.

 There simply is no global—or even local—consensus around relationships—if there ever was.

Whether we are speaking about arranged marriages still common on the other side of the globe in India, gay marriages—legal in some countries and some U.S. States or other alternative forms of relating from polyamory, or other non-traditional, non-monogamous relationship forms, we can certainly say that what is considered an acceptable form of relating is massively expanding in scope.

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Relationships: Elegent Navigation, Effective Communication, Part 2

Relationships: Elegent Navigation, Effective Communication, Part 2

Relationships: Effective Communication | Elegant Navigation

Part 2: The Solutions (1100 words, average reading time: 4.5 minutes)[Part 1 can be found HERE]

 

I have a very simple approach to relationships, that avoids most, if not all, of the problems outlined in the interpersonal conflicts above. It is the philosophical grounding I take on in all of my relationships explicitly:

Realize—and accept—the fact that no one way of approaching relationships, communication, or conflict is the “right way”. That there is no consensus agreement or reality except that which you form with the Other. They are simply different styles…therefore take this on as an organizing principle and act accordingly: Give the other person the freedom to be however they want; to be self expressed free from attempts to control them or suppress themGive yourself the freedom to be fully self-expressed—to be your authentic selfIn the event that one person’s behavior upsets the other, the person who is upset makes a clear request to alter the offending behaviorIf they accept the request, you now have an agreementIf they decline the request, you now know what to expect from them and have more understanding of each other’s approach to the worldForge an agreement with the other that this is the way you will approach relationships and conflict

 

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Evolutionary Thinking on the Evolution of Ego | Expand and Dissolve Rather than "Annihilate"

Evolutionary Thinking on the Evolution of Ego  | Expand and Dissolve Rather than "Annihilate"

We have been sold a bill of goods around ego. One that creates internal division and conflict. One that creates internal dissonance. One that creates pain. One that, at its worst, can foster a certain degree of self-hatred. A dis-ownership of the self. A bill of goods that is 2,500 years old in terms of its story around ego, the nature of ego, and the "problem" of ego.

And there is a better way. One that can create the same intended result with a kinder, gentler more self-accepting approach that can accelerate the evolution of the ego through the radical acceptance of expanding the ego, rather than attempting the psychological and spiritual suicide of ego annihilation. 

You can also see some similar themes around ego in the business context, read this article:  Self-Esteem and the Solo-Preneur | Internal vs. External Locus of Responsibility for an even deeper cut, taken from an email I sent a client a couple years ago, read Your Self-Worth is a Settled Matter.

Ok...ready? ::: Heh.

A quote from Ken Wilber I posted spawned an in-depth, yet brief—discussion on the nature and evolution of ego, Spiral Dynamics, the Integral community, and related topics, including the difference between cognitive development and actual development ::: the difference being understanding vs emotional response and being, or stated differently ::: one’s “center of gravity”.

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