All of our parents were doing the best they could with the resources they had available to them at the time--and regardless of their intentions, everyone could always use more resources.
What happens in our formative years, is that patterns our parents exhibited imprinted themselves onto us as children, and later, come out in various ways as we live our adult lives. Their behaviors in relationships, their beliefs about money, about the world, about spirituality—and yes, about ourselves -- about all of life, really.
All the things they said to us that were less than empowering …
They all all made an impression on us and in many ways have us be less than fully free. Their patterns wrapped around us, clothing us in perceptions. Most people live – to varying degrees – either in perpetuation of, or in reaction against, their parents’ patterns. We’ve all heard someone – and perhaps even ourselves – say “I’ll never be like them” or “I’ll never do that (to my kids)”. And even if you had the most wonderful parents in the world, who only loved and supported you with kindness, empathy, compassion, and clarity – there are still quirks we picked up we may be better off without – or certainly better off having choice around.
And then there are those of us who, deeply into our adult lives, are still laboring to please our parents – some of whom are not even alive anymore!